The mysteries of lake Selene Part I
by kyhplz
Summary: Part one of two parts. Roy & his subordinates including Ed & Al are on their way to Lake Selene, a mysterious lake with rumours about the stone. However, there are a few obstacles along the way.
1. Prologue

So, this is a story me and friend came up with.

Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: Fullmetal Alchemist is not owned by me or my friend, so don't sue us.

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"We're going on vacation, Bastard. There's nothing you can do about it."

"Sorry sir, it's actually a new lead on the stone."

"And where, do you suppose this place is, Fullmetal?"

"None of your conce-"

"It's a lake in the east."

"What is this lake called, Alphonse?"

"It's called Lake Selene, sir."

"How do you suppose you're getting to this lake, Fullmetal?"

Suddenly, a loud shout filled the room. "Road trip!"

"Settle down, Havoc."

"Yes sir, Lieutenant Hawkeye.

Smirking maliciously, Roy Mustang nodded in agreement. "That sounds like wonderful idea, Havoc."

"But…" With the clicking of a gun Mustang quickly added, "After our paper work, of course."

Frowning sadly, Ed commented,"Great, absolutely fabulous. So now we're travelling with an annoying and overweight redhead, a dictionary with grey and black hair, a guy with creepy glasses, a chain smoker, a trigger happy lieutenant." Smirking, Ed added, "and a Colonel Bastard, eh al?"

Everybody responded to these remarks differently.

Breda stood up and shouted,"Who, exactly, are you calling annoying and overweight?"

Falman simply frowned and sunk lower in his seat.

Fuery looked appalled. _'Are my glasses really that creepy?'_

Havoc frowned. "I don't smoke that much, Ed."

Hawkeye clicked the safety of her gun." I don't think I heard you properly, could you repeat one more time?"

Roy merely smirked. "Big words coming from such a little shrimp."

Ed visibly gulped from Riza's reaction and blew up at Roy's.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A MEASLY LITTLE SHRIMP WHO CAN'T EVEN COMPARE HIMSELF TO A GRAIN OF SAND?!"

"Are we there yet?" Ed asked impatiently.

"No, Edward. We've only been on the road for five minutes."

"But I'm _bored!_" Came the insistent reply.

Currently, Ed was squished between Havoc and Breda in the far back. In the middle sat Falman and Fuery, who were in a heated discussion about rumors in the area. Hawkeye and Mustang were in the front, with Riza driving.

Suddenly, Hawkeye noticed a sign saying 'No Food, Gas or Lodging for 100 miles'. "I hope we get there soon or we'll be sleeping in the car." Ed remarked sadly in the back, disgusted by the thought of sleeping in the same vehicle as Colonel Bastard. Even worse for Alphonse, who was sitting glumly in the trunk since he couldn't fit in any of the seats.

Suddenly, the alarm started blaring wildly to signal that, unfortunately, the car was almost out of gas. And who was in charge of filling the tank? None other than dear Havoc, who was busy stocking up on smokes for the trip.

After 5 minutes of continuous arguing and discovering that Breda forgot the food, the car came to a halt with NO GAS. Now their marvelous road trip was beginning to be not so marvelous after all. They were now stuck in the middle of nature a.k.a. no where without lodging. The worst part was Ed and Roy were stuck together, without food or water and the constant bickering of the two name calling idiots were going to give the others major migraines.

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How is it? Good? Bad?

Review and tell us, _please._

WE WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU REVIEW.


	2. Chapter 1

Alright, so chapter 1!

Brad: We do not own FMA so don't sue us.

Kyh: Damn straight.

Roy: Freaks. –mumble-

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After the constant bickering of the Colonel and Ed through the night nobody got any sleep and Al had to stay outside, due to the lack of room. Today they will try to hunt something edible with only Riza using a gun.

Ed and Al set up traps just incase Hawkeye misses.

Meanwhile Breda, Havoc, Fuery and Falman were berry picking.

Roy was waiting by the truck to make sure their temporary house wouldn't get stolen and try to get a fire going to roast the soon to be catches.

Hawkeye was hunting using only her eyes and her gun to hunt.

After a whole hour of hunting they gave up and argued, yet still hungry, about their next move.

For the first time since they were stranded they thought they saw a berry bush in the middle of the road. They didn't know if they were just imagining it from no food or water for two days but they decided to go after it.

They were all so famished that they were literally attacking each other to get this food.

Due to her endless hunger, Hawkeye took her gun out and started shooting at her commanding officer with no regard in accuracy. For the first time in Hawkeye's life, she missed her 5 shots at Colonel Mustang.

All the others tired out and flopped onto the ground after realizing that it was only an illusion.

But, on the good side of all of this, Hawkeye ended up shooting a wild turkey in the bush in her blind shooting rampage.

Meanwhile, Al snuck out and found a giant berry bush so with no containers he decided to fill him self up with berries.

Secretly he gave some berries to Ed and Riza but let the others suffer a little longer.

Sooner or later Havoc discovered the berry bush but had no berries. So they all suspected that someone was watching them and stealing their berries.

Smirking, Riza crossed her arms and shot a questioning glance at Al. He merely shrugged his metal shoulders, before pointing to the bush and crying, "There he is!"

Everyone ran off in a rush except Ed, Al, and Hawkeye.

"More please, Al." Ed asked, holding out his hands.

"Might I have so more, too, Alphonse?"

"Sure." Al knelt down and took his helmet off, allowing the two to have more berries.

"Thanks!" Ed exclaimed, chomping down on the berries.

"You're playing quite the trick on the boys, Alphonse. You'd best be careful, for when they find out."

"I know."

Roy heard the whole conversation and ran out of the bush in a very strange manner.

"I want food!" He cried.

"Say please, Colonel."

"Pwease?"

"Hell no! You deserve to starve, bastard!" Ed yelled.

"Give me the damn berries now unless you're willing to erupt in flames, pipsqueak."

"Shut up. Just for that, you aren't getting any berries."

"Do you want me to open that walking trash can you call a brother?"

"Who are you calling a trash can?! Without your gloves I could make a sandwich out of you!"

"Wow… Al, I never thought such tough words would come out of you"

"Ok, Colonel you get 10 berries if you don't tell anybody about the food"

After the boys came back from their wild goose chase they see Ed and Roy pigging out on FOOD.

They all surround little Ed torturing him until he tells them were he got those berries.

Suddenly out of no were Roy shouted "Al has them inside his body."

"You lying bastard you promised not to tell"

"It is called survival of the finest shorty"

The boys famished at this moment started dismantling Al to get to those berries.

"Poor Alphonse… "Sighed Riza

"Everybody stop!" shouted Hawkeye

"We shouldn't be killing each other; we should all be finding a way to get back home."

So they desperately they try to gather the resources to build them some kind of flying machine that can be transmuted by Ed, who was busy shouting out commands.

"We need more leaves! Fuery, go get some more."

"Breda and Havoc, more wood, pronto!"

"Al, more berries."

After several minutes of collecting these various objects, there were finally enough materials to make a large enough hot-air balloon to fit everyone.

After it was transmuted, Ed jumped into the balloon along with the others, except Roy, who snapped to get the balloon to fly and jumped in the balloon.

When they all thought they were going home they here a gun shot and realized there was a hole in their balloon.

They found them selves 2 minutes later on the ground with a bunch of little dwarfs surrounding them.

The best was they could do alchemy.

Out of no where Roy whispers "Wow, are you sure you don't have any brothers Edward?"

After being put to sleep they are all brought back to be examined by these midgets. When all hopes were lost of getting back home they heard a big, overly dramatic and manly voice that sounded a lot like Major ARMSTRONG.

After the Major takes control of his situation and unties us we realize that these creepy little monsters were humans that never grew because of lack of food and could not talk because they never learned. They were almost like little toddlers with guns that only wanted to play.

When we offered to bring these little Ed's back to the city they refused.

For some reason they would rather be in the woods with no signs of civilization.

On the way back to the car Roy kept on insisting that Ed should stay with the Dwarfs because of the fact that he fit in more with people of his size. Ed spazzed and shouted at Colonel the whole way back trying to think of a good come back.

"Good job, Major Armstrong. Without you we would have been stuck with Ed's family for a while longer."

"They're not my family!"

"It was no problem I was starting to miss having you at headquarters Colonel."

"One more thing, how did you know that we were in trouble?"

"It's a long story Colonel. I wanted to see how you guys were doing so I went to the lake were you guys were supposed to be. When I got there I only got a reservation for a cabin under Edward Mustang for one week. So on the way back I took the back way and found your car. I followed the footsteps until I found you in the bushes.

"So Ed you were planning a vacation."

"How were you planning to have a vacation with me there?"

" Well if you really want to hear it I was going to separate from you guys during the exploration of the island with Al and take the boat back to the resort for a week and come back and get you in a week."

"But now that we all had a good adventure I guess we can forget about it and go back to central."

"Where is Al?"

Suddenly the car started and Ed runs off to the car and drives off.

"Bye Colonel Bastard. No hard feelings."

"FULLMETAL!"

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Yes, this is a short but cute story.

EXPECT A SEQUEL SOMEDAY.

Brad: Hope you all had a good laugh.

Kyh: BYEE. –snicker-


End file.
